The most beautiful thing that I have ever experienced is being in love. I can’t fathom how incredibly amazing it is, while at the same time, so scary. My heart was broken so long ago. I built up walls, that you wouldn’t think the strongest man in the world couldn’t knock down. And while, one did, I still don’t regret any second of the crumble. Sure, sometimes I have lapses. Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened if those walls would have never caved. But I honestly think that I would be a lot worse off at this point. I grew, and learned so much since then. I learned that my heart is a lot more fragile than it used to be, before it was broken. I learned that, even if you aren’t with the person, if you love them, they should be your priority (until the chance is completely gone). And that’s what I did when I fell in love. My priorities changed. I didn’t care about finding someone. I didn’t care to go on dates, and be smothered with cute gifts and dinner and corny movies. I just wanted to spend my time around the person that I fell in love with. And even though it may have cause us both a little stress, the most amazing, beautiful friendship has been created because of that. A life-long, extraordinary friendship.
I don’t know what the future holds. I have no idea who I’m going to end up with, when I’m going to have kids, when I’m going to buy my first house, my first nice car, or how my future is going to pan out. And I’m completely okay with that. I’m content now. I just want to love life, and all of its beauty. I want to remember what it’s like to appreciate the little things. It’s okay to live a little. I need to learn how to pick myself back up again.
I don’t know what the point of this is, really. I just know that these things have been weighing heavy on my heart.
I dedicate this post to my best friend. The most wonderful person I’ve ever met in my entire life. Thank you for roughing through it with me. It’s been a damn long path to walk so far, and it’s going to be a damn long path to the end.
When I’m rich. <3
Maybe the problem is that I feel like I’m expected to act mature. Maybe I forced myself to grow up, when I really didn’t need to yet. And maybe I should just rewind a little bit. I want to enjoy things, the way I used to enjoy them. I want be a little naive to things, and add more spontinaety. I miss my mind being young. I took some interesting turns over the last few years, but there is no reason to lose appreciation for the little things. I need to take a small trip, clear my mind, and come back refreshed. It’s time for some new beginnings. <3
I know that’s right.
My best friend and. We do some gangsta speak. :)